i keep cursing in ice cream flavors and my mom has told me to stop
More you might like
update: i still haven’t stopped
how do you curse in ice cream flavors
what the mint chocolate chip did you say to me punk
i’ll kick your rocky road and then punch the ever loving strawberry cheesecake out of you
that was beautiful
I dont understand how people call half a square of dark chocolate a “treat” or “splurge” like when i decide to splurge i eat 2 bags of chips, 4 bowls of ice cream, 7 pieces of cake and a newborn child
Thank you
Bacon Pancake (Adventure Time) v.s Empire State of Mind
This is so… I… yes.
Things you can buy for the price of cigarettes
- Chocolate milk
- Chinese food
- A box of chocolates
- A bouquet of flowers at a grocery store
- A vinyl album
- Your favorite movie on dvd or bluray
- A good book
- A month worth of food for a starving child
- 5 pounds of rice
- Dental Insurance
- Two boxes of cereal
- A six pack of delicious apple cider
- A bottle of wine
- HBO channels
- Postage for a care package to a friend that lives far away
don’t forget: cigarettes
Anonymous asked:
your kind of ugly without makeup. you also look a bit fat no offense
st00pid-vegunz-deactivated20170 answered:
it’s 35+ degrees outside and i don’t have no time for concealing my blemishes today buddy.
also yes i do look a bit fat thank you for letting me know, i had no idea until you so kindly pointed it out. you know who else is a bit fat? pigs and elephants and my rat vinny and they’re all beautiful. so pass the ice cream u little shit because i’m hot and hungry and i searched in my rolls of fat for a fuck to give and couldn’t find one.
No offense, anon, but you’re kind of TALKING THRU YOUR ARSE!!! My daughter is beautiful!! Any time you’d like to come off anon and come chat with me, i’ll be waiting (ready to beat the living daylights out of you).
“i searched in my rolls of fat for a fuck to give and couldn’t find one.”
Actually the best comeback ever
Conversation I overheard while waiting in line for ice cream today:
- Guy 1: Oh come on you know how it works in my family bro...
- Guy 2: You had my dick in your mouth less than 20 minutes ago so don't you dare bro me Henry.
- Me at the store: hmm... I don't need ice cream, I gotta get in shape.
- Me at home: I was a goddamned fool
why the h*ck am i so cold and why isn’t anyone snuggling me and why do grocery stores charge so much for a small amount of ice cream
why did you censor the word h*ck
because it’s a fucking bad word
Bacon Pancakes (Sim Gretina Remix):
